Friday is the knot at the end fo my rope

A long week it has been. Between fighting illness and trying to stay warm and dry, I have been lost in a fog.

Watched a ton of movies though. Blockbuster is thinking about giving me my own entrance by now. American Dreamz (dreams with a "Zee") was great. I laughed, as I often do when people make fun of Americans or those who are more successful than I. Over the hedge was cute, Kinky Boots is one I would definatley reccomend as well. I had dreams about high heeled shoes last night, mostly because of that movie.

Hmmm, what else....Some shitty documentary about a scary town in the states, and I couldn't even watch Ulie Lommel's Black Dahlia movie. Made it through the credits and shut it off. I think it was filmed with a cam corder.

I have been trying to find a copy of Feast, which was released on tuesday, but haven't been to the uber-expensive HMV yet to pick it up. I am not even sure if it sucks or not, so I have a tough time paying +$26 for a it.

Anyways, I am anxiously awaiting 5:00, I think there are still some beers in the fridge here so I may hae one of those to help pass the afternoon.

Mmmm, learning. It's like consumption for your mind

So I have been attending a course the past three days, have one more day to go. It's all to do with a fancy CAD program used for construction. It makes my job 1000 times easier, but it's really a big program that can pretty much do anything you want it to.

Needless to say, my brain is fried. However, not as fried as my body. Sitting in an uncomfortable chair at a two-inches-too-high-for-me table has made my neck and shoulders cramp like you wouldn't believe.

So the posts haven't been updated due to lack of internet access during the course. Hopefully next week I will be back up and on a regular schedule again.

P.S. I am watchin House of 1000 Corpses and can not help smiling every time Sheri Moon laughs.

Tryptophan Nightmares

That time of year again, eat a huge meal including turkey and stuffing. It happens three times a year for me. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now Easter. Before I got married, we didn't really have a turkey for Easter. Also, now I have two Thanksgiving dinners and several Christmas dinners to attend so I pretty much get my fill. Considering I don't really like Turkey all that much, I still eat a lot of it.

I find it slightly amusing to eat food that will essentially poison you into sleep. Like 'shrooms poisoning your brain to make funny colours, Turkey has the ability to make you drowsy. Now most people know this, but some attribute the drowsyness to having just eaten a large meal. But I have had many large meals which substituted a chicken or roast beef for turkey, and I don't feel that groggy after eating them.

People always stuff their faces at these dinners. It's a good thing we aren't like the old romans with their vomitoriums. Eat, puke and be merry. I have a feeling that Turkey doesn't need to be seen in a post consumed format.

Well with that visual in mind, I am off to have Turkey dinner number two, I will need to refrain from eating for the next week to work off all the food that has been consumed over the weekend.

Somwhere between reality and a Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich

Elvis, not my favorite character to dress up as for Halloween, but the costume kinda fell into my lap this year. I of course plan on being dead elvis, half rotted and all that. I found a wig, an awesome foram ruber Elvis wig, so I couldn't let it go, and made the call to use it for Halloween. I have yet to decide if I am going to be fat dead Elvis, but I am pretty sure that I will remain thin for the part.

I saw some excellent make up at a local costuem shop. It makes your mouth look rotted away as if your lips were gone and all your teeth are showing through. I think that will add a dimension of nastiness to my costume. No one likes seeing your teeth hanging out, esepcially if you are Elvis. Dead Elvis. This makes me think of Bubba Ho Tep. One of the funnier films to have come out in the past few years. Bruce Campbell does an excellent job of Old Elvis. I may have to watch the film about 10 times before Halloween to get the attitude and accent perfect.

In the past I made the mistake of watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas about 15 times to properly portray Hunter S. on Halloween. The result was a near perfect mimic of the Johnny Depp portrayal, tone of voice, strange jerky movements and all. The downside is, it's bloody hard to give that up once the costume is off. Accidentally talking out the side of your mouth, leering at people with drug crazed eyes and screaming about golf shoes isn't the best way to act in a public setting. With time, the old me came back through and Mr. Thompson had his remains shot from a cannon so it all ends pretty well I think.

Bourbon is the Anti-Depressant of the last century

I love Bourbon, it is by far the most enjoyable alcoholic beverage for me. Many differnent brands, a rainbow of flavours if you will. Woodford Reserve is my favorite, but it's expensive. As are Knob Creek and Booker Noe. The most reasonable option is Wild Turkey. It's not the most premium of brands, but it has flavour and isn't damn expensive.

It's an acquired taste Bourbon is. A strange phrase to begin with. I mean, if you have to force yourself to like something, why even bother? I had to make the choice to begin drinking something other than beer. I was "retiring" from the bar industry and setting myself up behind a desk. There is very little running around on your feet sitting here, so beer would have been disasterous to my midsection. So when I asked my buddy what I should switch to, he joking suggested Wild Turkey. The suggestion was taken seriously and ever since, I have been a big fan of the stuff.

One word of caution, Wild Turkey also comes in a 100 Proof variety, it may not seem like an extra 10% of alcohol will hurt you, but on two occasions, I have drank a large quantity of the stuff believing it to be the normal variety and both instances ended badly. Let's just say halloween ended about 5 hours before bedtime, and I am no longer allowed near the BBQ at my friends house.

The Pen is Blew

While I sit here not doing my job, I begin to wonder how much longer I can go without doing any actual work?

I really love Halloween. If it were an actual holidy, it would be my favorite holiday. The chance to dress up like something dead, to decorate my house with scary, bloody crap, and the release of yet another onslot of horror films to the theaters. All wonderful reasons to love this time of year.

I am not sure when the obsession began. I know that as a child I would only wear black, and was a little too preoccupied with Vampires. It seems that I must have been a goth in my very early years. I never gave up the fascination with the undead, but black clothes were replaced with a variety of other tones and only on rare occasions would I be seen wearing make-up.

As I strive to turn this post into something worth reading, rather than a boring diary of someone less interesting than you, my mind tends to draw a blank.

I once wrote, with the help of a friend, a script for a horror film. The unsettling part about writing a script of this nature, is that you have to dig into the darker parts of your imagination to produce quality horror. Sitting alone in a cafe, writing like mad as the ideas flew from my head to the page, I paused to revise what I had written. There comes a point when you have to look at yourself and say "Did I really think of that?" I mean sure, killing a girls dog and feeding it to her as birthday cake may sound harmless, but when you get to the details of how the knife cut into the fur and blood pours out of the middle, you start to question your personal morals.

To this date, I have never acted upon any of these sinister ideas which pop into my head, so I suppose that is a good thing. I will just write them down, post them or put them in a film so that some other psycho can act them out. I have never been one to follow through with these plans, but I do love to suggest them to those who just might.

A small trip through the garden of my mind

There was a time when I would work nights and sleep through the days. I have never been a morning person, and the people that come out at night are so much more entertaining than during the day times.

For instance, one evening, as I walked away from work, I noticed an elderly man driving a mini-van with a severly flat tire. I flagged him down and told him he needed to get the tire fixed. "Where can I meet a girl?" was his response. Now as sad as it sounds, and potentially deranged, that an old man with a flat tire was looking for love, I can assure you that your sympathy is not needed.

This particular man, on this particular evening, was looking for a woman "who would walk up to the car without you asking". I am sure, dear reader, that by now you grasp the concept. Being that I lived in the area and have a tendency to help those in need, I decided to give him a hand.

"First, drive down this street to the gas station and fill up your tire", I explained - and he appeared to understand. "Then drive two blocks north and make a right, there you will find the kind of girl you are looking for."

I am not one to generally pay for sex, but I also am not ignorant to the hangouts of prostitutes in my neighbourhood! So the man thanked me, and was on his way.

Now at this point, I entered a pub, where I was waiting for my sister to meet me. Within 10 minutes she arrived and we ordered our drinks. She says to me, "I was just at the gas station and some guy pulled up with a flat tire, I went over to tell him about it and he rolled down the window and told me to get in!" she said in disbelief and continued her story, "I said to him, 'No you have a flat tire, I just thought you should know!' Isn't that odd?" she asked.

"No, not really" I replied.

Number One, number one, number one....

Today is one of those days. It's grey and cold and too quiet in here to actually do any work. When things are slow and there are no deadlines to meet, I find it difficult to get anything done. So with that in mind, why not let my brain wander a bit and see where it goes?

I have become obsessed with cigars. A strange obsession to be sure, but they now are constantly in the back of my mind. Is this an addiction? I only smoke one every two weeks, as the pay cheque allows, but I am always anticipating the next one. Even as I smoke my bi-weekly ration, I am saddened by the fact that another two weeks must pass before my next one! addiction, or obsession? where does the line get drawn?

Latley I am obsessed with web comics. they are all too enthralling. It may have to do with the fact that my daily routine can sometimes be dull (read:banging my head against the wall boring). These little three to six panel stories are something to look forward to each day. And so, I am venturing out to create my own. Slowly I have taught myself to use the programs necessary, and hope to begin a regular posting before this years end.