A three hour tour

When they said that The Good Shephard was "the godfather of CIA movies", I assumed they meant it was enthralling and awesome like the classic. However, I think the actual meaning of the comparison was in the closeness in length of the two films.

So it was long, but not all together usless. I enjoyed it, but if you aren't in the mood to pay close attention and focus your brain on one thing, you will be lost in a heartbeat. The constant flash back to flash forward can be a little daunting. Especially when our main character, MAtt Damon, never appears to age. Granted it only takes place accross a 20 year gap, but you wouldn't want to miss those little letters at the bottom of the screen everytime the present is shifted.

Overall, DeNiro didn't do half bad for a guy who usually stars in a film, so I will give him that.

Tonight I attempt to sit through Volver. Could be funny, could drive me insane. We shall see.

The Pursuit of Happy Footed Tourists

So I watched three movies this week. Happy Feet, was cute and sickening, although I started getting a little bored near the end, but it's a kids movie so what can I say?

Turistas, was crap. It paints Brazil in a really bad light. I've been there and only had one or two small incedents, nothing gory and life threatening. This movie wasted over 50% of it showing bikini clad women and topless men walking through the jungle and swimming in caves. There was maybe 20 minutes of honest to goodness gore and action. I am sorry, but being chased by a guy with a spear through a series of underwater caves where I have to stop every 30 seconds to surface for air, is not thrilling. The worst thing that happened to me in Brazil, aside from being taken advantage of by a girl I think was a prostitute, was mainly my fault. Three of us were rolling a joint, and not wanting to be caught by the police, we tooka side street, in Salvador, at 3 in the morning. Within two minuites, four large brazilian men, were on us, trying to steal everything in our pockets. We ran, nobody lost anything, although I had to choke the hell outta one of them to get him off my buddy. Anyways, Brazil is fun if you are not an idiot. Turistas is fun only if you are an idiot.

Pursuit of Happyness (sic), always wanted to use that, was more like the pursuit of depressionness. It was a two hour downward slide of unhappy, sad occurances. Will Smith and his kid struggling to get through. Sure it has a happy ending, but you don't get to enjoy it. The happiness itself is only about 1 minute long. then the old, lets just put some words on the screen to show what happened in the future bullshit comes along. So I get to read that everything turned out well, but never actually see the characters enjoying the fruits of their labour. If I can't watch you enjoy the fruits, what good is that?

So, next week some good shit is coming out. I will of course rent them all. Blockbuster is being kept afloat by yours truly still. I have to let you know that Grindhouse is coming out next week and I may or may not have an actual erection with excitment over it. I don't think it will let me down.

Winter is a pain in the ass

So it's still cold and snowy. Apparently it's all gonna melt tonight though. then it will be mild and mucky.

School for Scoundrels was funny. stupid kick-me-in-the-balls humour but noen the less enjoyable. John Hedr has done well for himself. Canadian fellow and all, apparently my cousin went to school with him? Anyways, I was thinking about how he represents this dumbfounded type of guy that people are now casting, probably even writing roles for. I suppose seeing him do his Napolean Dynomite thing could have inspired goofball comedy writers around the world to create new stories based around this goofy looking guy.

The Quiet, definately recommend this one. Not only does it have a Calgarian in it, Elisha Cuthbert(who actually pulled off a serious role!), but it has a very cool mood to it. Not quite dark, but definately leaves you feeling almost foggy. Deaf girl, incest, murder. can't go wrong really. I enjoyed it. You will too, maybe, if you like that sort of thing.

Anyways, I am off to try and solve the age old problem of How do you keep geese off a pond?

Baby it's cold outside

So winter has finally settled in. It took a while, but now it's damn cold and won't stop snowing with no end in sight. shit. Driving in this city is about as safe as playing Russian Roulette with a shotgun.

I get really irritated with many of our fair city's drivers. Not road rage irritated (at least if you don't define the deep need to pull someone from their car verbally berate them while cutting up their liscence and kicking them in the face as road rage), but I find it difficult to deal with people who don't know what they are doing. The "Rules of the Road" isn't just about stop signs and yellow lines, there are guidelines in place so that all the masses don't try and think for themselves. In the past year, over 75,000 people moved into Calgary. That's 75,000 people that may or may not have ever driven in Canada, or more importantly, snow.

Also, the playgroudn zones? they don't go into effect until 8:30am. freaking morons driving around at 30km/hour while it's pitch black and the little kiddies are all in bed sucking their thumbs, dreaming of staying inside to play video games and watch TV so they never have to go out and play in the playground zones thusly negating thier existance.

I went to a meeting the other day with a guy I lovingly call "Um-Ah" No real reason for this nickname, except for um-ah, the fact um-ah, that he um-ah says um-ah in between um-ah almost every um-ah freaking word. um-a. It can get irritating.

Enough of this, off to my desk to plan my worldly domination. Some good movies being released on disc today, The Departed, not really interested-why the fuck is it nominated for several oscars? School for Scoundrels, sure I want to see this, it's mindless entertainment. I watched the Messengers on the weekend, haunted house and all that. pretty good movie all around. Anyways, tomorrow I will let you know about the tonights flicks.

Friday is the knot at the end fo my rope

A long week it has been. Between fighting illness and trying to stay warm and dry, I have been lost in a fog.

Watched a ton of movies though. Blockbuster is thinking about giving me my own entrance by now. American Dreamz (dreams with a "Zee") was great. I laughed, as I often do when people make fun of Americans or those who are more successful than I. Over the hedge was cute, Kinky Boots is one I would definatley reccomend as well. I had dreams about high heeled shoes last night, mostly because of that movie.

Hmmm, what else....Some shitty documentary about a scary town in the states, and I couldn't even watch Ulie Lommel's Black Dahlia movie. Made it through the credits and shut it off. I think it was filmed with a cam corder.

I have been trying to find a copy of Feast, which was released on tuesday, but haven't been to the uber-expensive HMV yet to pick it up. I am not even sure if it sucks or not, so I have a tough time paying +$26 for a it.

Anyways, I am anxiously awaiting 5:00, I think there are still some beers in the fridge here so I may hae one of those to help pass the afternoon.

Mmmm, learning. It's like consumption for your mind

So I have been attending a course the past three days, have one more day to go. It's all to do with a fancy CAD program used for construction. It makes my job 1000 times easier, but it's really a big program that can pretty much do anything you want it to.

Needless to say, my brain is fried. However, not as fried as my body. Sitting in an uncomfortable chair at a two-inches-too-high-for-me table has made my neck and shoulders cramp like you wouldn't believe.

So the posts haven't been updated due to lack of internet access during the course. Hopefully next week I will be back up and on a regular schedule again.

P.S. I am watchin House of 1000 Corpses and can not help smiling every time Sheri Moon laughs.

Tryptophan Nightmares

That time of year again, eat a huge meal including turkey and stuffing. It happens three times a year for me. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now Easter. Before I got married, we didn't really have a turkey for Easter. Also, now I have two Thanksgiving dinners and several Christmas dinners to attend so I pretty much get my fill. Considering I don't really like Turkey all that much, I still eat a lot of it.

I find it slightly amusing to eat food that will essentially poison you into sleep. Like 'shrooms poisoning your brain to make funny colours, Turkey has the ability to make you drowsy. Now most people know this, but some attribute the drowsyness to having just eaten a large meal. But I have had many large meals which substituted a chicken or roast beef for turkey, and I don't feel that groggy after eating them.

People always stuff their faces at these dinners. It's a good thing we aren't like the old romans with their vomitoriums. Eat, puke and be merry. I have a feeling that Turkey doesn't need to be seen in a post consumed format.

Well with that visual in mind, I am off to have Turkey dinner number two, I will need to refrain from eating for the next week to work off all the food that has been consumed over the weekend.